i think we all saw where this was going

One year ago today I was getting a little freaked out because I was still late, and despite what the test results showed I was beginning to fear that I kinda might have sort of accidently gotten a little bit pregnant. Maybe.

I bought yet another test, and this time instead of tearing it out of the package first thing in the morning and peeing on the stick I actually read the directions, which stated (and I quote from the website, italics added for emphasis) "Holding the test stick by the Thumb Grip with the Absorbent Tip pointing downward and the Result Window facing away from your body...". What? I was supposed to hold this thing upside down and backwards? That matters? That sounds slightly reminiscent of how I got in this mess in the first place. No way.

Way.

Within seconds that second line appeared confirming my worst nightmare. Cool Lora had instantly become Mom Lora. No more fun. Learn to sew. Pull up your jeans. Bake a casserole. In bed by ten. Now you're a mom.

These things weren't supposed to happen to nice girls like me. I had made a firm decision about children and there was no way that the test was right. Open the second test, pee, line, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, anger, depression, anger, acceptance.

Baby aside, I was worried about the most important thing in my life- me. I was just about to undergo some pretty serious oncology appointments to try to discover where the lady cancer was coming from. Was it spreading from another part of my body? Spreading to somewhere else? They didn't want to cut it out just in case I decided to have kids later, but I didn't want them to keep it in there so I could live to make that decision. Total drama. I wasn't afraid I was going to die, I just didn't want to deal with it for the rest of my life.

I told Dave that I think I might be pregnant, and we sat and said nothing for a good half hour. Then we discussed whether or not to go ahead with this, what it meant for my health, and what to eat for dinner. I called the doctor the next morning and scheduled something for the first week of August. By the time the appointment rolled around I was certain that I would do what it takes to keep the pregnancy, and was surprised to hear from the doc that sometimes the cell regeneration and turnover during pregnancy is so rapid that the traces of cancer can actually be shed from your body, provided it is in the right place at the right time and hasn't spread elsewhere.

And if there was ever a time and place for the big C, I found it, because I just got news that the biopsies and swabs and pinches and pokes and prods that I underwent in June came back perfect. Not a trace of a mutated cell anywhere,and since it wasn't still there it is likely that it hasn't spread anywhere else. Hooray for that! The RN I spoke with said that I don't have to come back for a full year, and I can rest assured that I probably won't have any problems for a few years- if ever. I am SO looking forward to not having to go to the GYN for an entire year.

This is going to be great.