new year's resignations

It's that time of year again kiddies!
In 2007 I am resigning myself to the following:

1) I can love my baby, I can love your baby, but I still don't love babies. I don't feel bad when I don't like adult people, so why should the tiny ones be any different?
2) I'm 30 years old, and I still have trouble waking up in the morning. If I haven't mastered it by now, it is probably only going to get worse.
3) I think work's for jerks, but I couldn't handle twelve weeks of maternity leave. I need to get out of the house and knock a few heads together at least three days a week.
4) No matter how much I spend on shampoo, my hair will always be a rat's nest. And it is apparently hereditary.
5) Chocolate tastes better after you weigh yourself and see a bigger number than you were hoping for.
6) I don't need to bore my friends with my drivel anymore now that I have the blogospere. They probably never really cared about this crap all that much anyway.
7) My house will be run by children for at least twenty years. There is baby garbage everywhere, and I know it just gets worse over time. I hate it, but there isn't much I can do about it.
8) I might never be famous.
9) I'm probably not as hilarious as I think I am. But I still crack me up.
10) I'm aging, but so are you, so meh.
11) I'm done trying to give up coffee. If I want to drink two pots a day I will. I will continue my quest to hydrate myself better.
12) I will never be a successful grocery shopper or cook, but no one playing for Team M is starving.
13) My boobs aren't going to magically go back where they used to be. Someday they will be back to their original glory, but it won't be magic. And it won't be cheap.
14) I'm not going to live anywhere warm for a very long time.
15) I'm in a lot of debt. I don't expect to have it paid off until I'm 65.
16) I don't remember most of what I learned in school. I live by the list of things you learn in kindergarten, the other eighteen years were just filler.
17) Even though I carry it with me on trips and keep it by my bed, I'll most likely never get past the first twenty pages of War and Peace. Trust me when I tell you they are just as bad the eighth time you read them as the first.
18) I don't want the picket fence, two car garage, or the sprawling yard, but that doesn't make me any less of a wife or mother. I've never mowed a lawn before, why start now? I do, however, want a parking spot when I move to my "real" house.
19) I'll never be truly happy with what I have, but I'll never know what I really want. I'll keep trying to find it, but I know it isn't really out there. It's a comforting balance, if you are into perpetual flux.
20) I'm never going to think of something witty to end this post with, but twenty is a nice round number.