niner

Jake had his nine month doctor's appointment yesterday, and he is doing really well.
He is 29 1/3 inches long, putting him at about the 85th percentile (this keeps going up, he was in the fiftieth when he was born) and 18 pounds and 2 ounces, holding strong around the 15th percentile. Long and skinny is still the order of the day. The doctor's aren't worried about his weight since he has been consistently at the fifteenth and is up from the second or third when he was born. His head is and always has been in the fiftieth.

Jake is eating all kinds of foods. He loves his fruits and veggies, and feeds himself mozzarella string cheese, provolone, and cheddar cheese at least once per day. Avocados and beets are tolerable, hummus and beans are wonderful. He snacks on those Gerber puffs and we try Cheerios every now and then, but they don't dissolve fast enough so he gags sometimes. Pastina and yogurt are always fun, and anything with apples rocks. Jake still eats most of his fruits and vegetables out of jars, but I give him as many fresh foods as I can manage. He still drinks formula and I guess he is getting some watered down apple juice at daycare. Sippy cups are seemingly a lost cause. Next time I have a few extra dollars I'm going to pick up one of the non-spill straw cups, maybe Jake'll do better with those.

Jake is doing all the normal nine month things, cruising and babbling and screaming and growling. He isn't happy unless you are walking him from room to room- carrying just doesn't cut it anymore but crawling will suffice. He only has his two bottom teeth, but you can feel a ton of other ones trying to break through. Lucky for me, Jake doesn't have any of the separation anxiety that sometimes comes with being his age, and hopefully it doesn't become a problem later. I can leave him anywhere with anyone and he is happy. He goes to bed without too much of a fuss around nine, and sleeps until sixish, as long as I pump his belly full before he falls asleep.

Jake still loves the Boohbahs and Teletubbies, and I have been letting him watch Sesame Street and Plaza Sesamo from time to time. I am not ashamed to say that I stick him in the exersaucer with a hand full of puff snacks in front of the television so I can get the dishes done or the bathroom clean. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Jake likes his playpen and squeals and laughs when Bailey gets in there to play. Tyler comes around at dinner time because she knows she will get the table scraps. Jake prefers Tyler over Bailey, and Tyler prefers peas over anything else.

Never before in the history of Team M has there ever been so many presents under the tree. Jake manages to climb all over them at least twice a day, but has no interest in opening any of the packages. I don't know how I will amuse Jake after the decorations are down, the twinkle lights are an endless source of amusement. I hate them, and turn them off when we have company, as I'm afraid that they may induce seizures if someone is prone.

Life is starting to get easier and better, and instead of having another baby just so Jake has a sister or brother Dave and I think we are going to skip the second one and that elusive third and just get on with our lives. We obviously love Jake but we are not so crazy about the idea of more kids. Neither one of us want more for any other reason than so Jake has someone to pal around with, and that isn't the best reason to create life. We'll get a dog instead. I feel like I have lost a big chunk of myself somewhere in bottles and diapers and late night screaming and the mere thought of doing it all over again while managing a toddler makes me want to puke until I lose a vital organ. I don't want to just be a mom, I need to be me too.

On top of all that, brats are expensive. Between food and clothes and daycare and activities and school and a house to fit all their junk and and and I just don't see ourselves doing it. I would rather not spend the next twenty years managing, muddling through, and making do.

Since making this decision, I feel so much better about every little thing I do with and for Jake. Instead of despising the less than pleasant baby tasks, I can tell myself that I will never have to do it again. All that gear in my basement? It's out, as soon as I find someone who needs it. Maybe in five or six years we will change our minds and either have another one of our own or buy one of someone else's but for now I am feeling so much better about my life, my future, and my mental, physical, and fiscal stability.

That said, I'm getting back to work at a job that will accommodate me, my only child, and my husband who will no doubt love me more now that I am not so angry anymore because I don't feel like I am destined to be a breeder.

Darling, I love you but give me Park Avenue.