14 months = 426 days

I haven't been keeping up with the monthly updates. It seems that Jake can do everything and anything and there aren't any new tricks to report. So, here is a rundown, starting at the tip of his head to the bottom of his feet.

Jake seems to miss his long curls, especially at bedtime. Instead of curling his hair around his fingers to fall asleep he rubs the back of his head like a worn out bureaucrat. It's a sad, really. I hope it isn't an indication of things to come. I miss the long hair too, but it's been nearly a week since anyone asked me how old my little girl is.

The eyes blink, the nose runs, the mouth chomps and squeals and blabbers and sings and imitates and acts as our second vacuum cleaner. The boy has a pretty impressive vocabulary, but since he is the smartest and most beautiful baby on Earth I'm not surprised. There are only six teeth in there, four on top and two on the bottom. I think he is a little bit behind there, but I guess the longer they are in the better. It doesn't seem to stop him from eating everything. He is allowed everything but seafood and junk. Favorites are still beans, hummus, bananas, peanut butter, applesauce, and yogurt. Treats are graham crackers and Nilla wafers if we are on the go, fruit and cheese if we are at home. We don't really eat much meat, but if we do I don't get any complaints. By we I mean Jake and I. I have a sneaking suspicion that Dave manages to get in his fair share of the flesh before 5pm.

Luckily (or unluckily) I don't have one of those kids who demands that everything put in his mouth is put in there by him. Feeding times are quick and clean, and Jake just sits there with his beak open like a baby bird. Jake is doing well with the fork, but can't seem to stab at things well enough to get them on there by himself. Forget the spoon unless he is eating something that will stick to it. Dave and I rarely ever eat food that requires utensils so Jake isn't overly excited to use them himself. Every meal at the M's is like a luau. We just jam our grubby little hands in the pizza box/cheese plate/sandwich wrapper/granola bar box/fruit basket and cram whatever we come up with in our mouths. Nothing but class at our house.

We have had a bottle-free house for a few months now, and Jake is a pro at the sippy cup. He's mastered the straw which helps at restaurants. Jake gets whole milk, water, and toddler formula at our house. I know I can skip the formula, but I like that he begins and ends each day with a glass of pre-packaged vitamins and minerals. If you remember, I am the Queen of the Carnation Instant Breakfast. I like to force nutrition down my own throat by the glassful and in pill form, I can't be bothered with well-rounded meals. I'm too busy making sure I'm giving Jake a balanced plate of healthiness and saving my little corner of the world from bad parenting practices. I don't give Jake any fruit juice, but I know he gets it from other people. As long as it's watered down I don't care.

Jake loves his belly button, his boys, and his boobs. Next time you see him, say "Where's your boobs, Jake?" and he will grab them and run around in circles giggling. I don't know who taught him about boobs or why, but it is hilarious, and goes over really well at parties.

"Ring Around the Rosy" and "Itsy Bitsy Spider" are big hits around here. I'll try to get him on tape doing "Rings". He baby-sings while he spins himself in circles and falls down all by himself, he doesn't even care if anyone else is in the room. Other crowd pleasers are the monster face (bottom teeth stuck out and lots of growling) and declaring a touchdown (arms up, scream "down"). Both are tricks that his Pop Pop M. taught him.

Naked time is the best time of the day, but Jake is pretty good about getting and staying dressed. He is wearing 18 month sized shirts and 12 month sized shorts. It is pretty hot out so we don't have to struggle with pants these days. The 12 monthers fit like capris and the 18 monthers sag at the waist. Poor kid can't win. Shoes are sized at 4, but we don't bother with them too often.

I'm sure everyone thinks this about their kid, but I'm sure Jake is one of the most social babies I have ever come across. Strangers are just friends that have yet to be made and are always, always way more interesting than mom and dad. Jake runs and kisses all the other moms when they come to pick up their brat from day care, and is so happy to see someone pass him on the street that it can actually be a little uncomfortable for everyone involved. Except Jake. He loves it. Nothing weirds him out. Not even people sitting on benches at the playground who don't seem to have any kids of their own on the swings. Especially if they are eating something. This could be a problem in the future. The nice thing is that I can dump him off at your house if I have something to do and he won't make a peep about me leaving. So, I'll be there at four on Saturday. I'll be sure to pack a few toys.

Jake is going to his first Phillies game tonight. Wish us luck.

Did I mention that dogs are the most awesome things ever?!?! the bigger the better. Little dogs are cats, and are called out as such on the street. Jake and Bailey pal around a lot, but I think they are really just satisfying their own unending needs for attention rather than actually being in love with each other. Altruism doesn't ring true for cats and babies. Or social workers, based on the conversation taking place in the next cube over. I better go and uphold humanity on my own, it certainly isn't getting done over there.