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My birthday is finally here after a whole year of waiting! I'm thirty one, so I'll be telling people that I am 34 this year. Because let's face it- I look a whole hell of a lot better for 34 than I do for 31. And I have three kids too. Don't I look awesome?

Feel free to shower me with comments and emails and gifts and praises. I'll be sitting here most of the day. On the couch. With an ice pack and some Tylenol.

I've forgone the Vicodin. Painkillers and I aren't the best of friends. They weird me out and make me angry and depressed and if I weren't so doped up I'd get up and get a little punchy. It's not good for anyone. Around these parts I could probably make about $30 with what I have left over, but now that I'm a mom and part of the over-thirty crowd I'll do what's right and flush them down the toilet. Never in the history of being (outside of those Tylenol 3's I took after having Jake) have I ever had a need for anything stronger than Alleve so I don't want to keep them around the house. Devil pills, that's what they are. And they are giving me such terrible dreams that I am afraid of what's next. If you really want to know about them, get a hold of me and I'll send you the graphic details. I don't think I'd have any readers left if I posted them here.

I have an eye doctor's appointment in an hour, and I smell like I've been sweating steriods and antibiotics and other fun meds for about three days, so I'm going to get a big birthday shower and see what the eye guy has to say.