look away

If you saw what just came out of my head, you would never read this blog again. If you really want to see what I'm dealing with, click here. If you just clicked there by mistake, just pretend that it was canned cranberry. That is the exact color and consistency of what is falling out of my mouth and nose. Maybe a little slimier, and less festive, and tastes slightly less tinny. It's cute that it is shaped kind of like a heart, isn't it?

At my cubby wubby womb room class today, we learned about the Johari Window and how it relates to ourselves and our clients. One of the exercises that we were asked to do is share a memory we have from birth to age three months that we actually remember- no fair saying something that your mom told you about you. It's bogus. You can't. That was the point. But, it got me to thinking about my earliest memory.

I remember very few things before my brother was born, twelve days before my third birthday. I remember sitting on the floor with my mom eating a popsicle in front of the dishwasher in the trailer once, and running a Tonka truck over the plaid couch cushions while my mom whispered something to her friend Nancy, and looking down at my nightgown that said "Sweet Dreams are the Very Best Kind" and thinking that I was reading just because I knew what it said, and standing in what would be the kitchen of the house my parents were building and telling the contractor (I think his name was Bill) that I wanted green carpeting in my room, and I remember losing a birthstone ring right before we moved to that new house and looking everywhere for it so I wouldn't get in trouble but getting sidetracked by the Gong Show. I loved the Gong Show. I remember going to the hospital to see Brian and thinking that I had a lot of responsibility in life now that I had a little brother and my memory must have matured and kicked in shortly thereafter, because I can recall tons of details after that fateful trip to the maternity ward.

Funny, because the since taking my next trip to the maternity ward seventeen months ago I have trouble remembering just about everything.