vacation, had to get away

Just a few more hours left of baby-free living. Jake left last Sunday, but I haven't really spent any real time with him since last Monday. Tuesday I had the biopsy (with thumbs-down results. I am done talking about it here, I've started another blog that will be devoted entirely to my chassis. Let me know if you'd like the link I won't think you are perverty or anything.) so I was out of commission Tuesday night and Wednesday. Thursday was the big scramble to get my bag packed and Jake's bag packed and the house in some sort of order before I went in the hospital for the surgery on Friday. So it's been about two weeks since I spent any quality Mommy-Jake time.

Everyone I see asks me if I'm lost, or feel empty, or if I miss him terribly, or keep looking for him. I do miss him and I want to give him big hugs and get tons of sloppy kisses and hear what new words he learned and see his new haircut, but that brat will be in my house for the next 18 years. A week off here and there is a welcome rest from washing valves and wiping the floors after each meal and touching poop. I don't feel lost or empty and I have only looked for him twice, but I blame the Vicodin. No work last week meant that I could sleep in a little bit and bum around in the afternoon without checking my watch every ten minutes to make sure that daycare isn't closing soon. I painted my toenails and I don't have any little fingerprints in them. I got a haircut and then I got to play with it for an hour after I got home. I just went grocery shopping and had the little basket in the cart open to put my eggs and produce in and I didn't have to make the choice to keep Jake in the car seat or throw him in the play pen and listen to him scream while I emptied the car. I felt like a normal person for a few days instead of a mom. And my mom got to feel like a mom for a few days instead of a normal person.

It was fabulous all around.