wishlist

Remember how I said that this was going to be my year? My year to shine and sparkle? To take over my life, my job, my finances, and maybe even yours too? The (first wave of (temporary) fiscal year) contracts are almost settled which almost just about assures that I will be gainfully employed for another year and the permanent ones will (hopefully) be rolling out a few short weeks after my birthday. My birthday. My birthday is in eighteen days. My thirty-second birthday. My thirty-second birthday will be happening two weeks from Friday. I'll be thirty-two on my birthday.

If this is truly going to be my year, I have to get on the ball. I think I'll start with this. I'll thank you in advance for having it delivered to my office. Delivering things to my house is risky. The package will just sit on my front steps until I get home and I don't want you to shell out almost $200 for my birthday present and have it land in the hands of some unemployed drifter.

And even though there is a pen in there, I think I'd rather do with this. Although this one reminds me of one my grandma had, and I always thought it was very grown-up of her to have a nice pen. But wait, I think the hardware on the planner is probably gold, so those ones might clash and none of my colleagues could ever take me seriously if my planner clashed with my pen so maybe this one would be better. Those can be either ordered to the store which is around the corner from my office or to my house because I think the box will be small enough for the delivery guy to shove through the mail slot. I just typo-ed "shove in my slot" but I changed it because I didn't want to sound gross.

And to stay in touch with everyone about everything I really think I need the Blackberry Pearl. In Red. Let me know if you will be buying this for me, because it would be easier if you gave me the cash and I pick it up so I can use my upgrade rebate. Then you can take me out for dinner with the $150 I'll be saving you. I've made out with this phone once and I think I can overcome that weird little navigator ball thing with a few therapy sessions. I think the pearl feels exactly like a... um, well you know. It rhymes with Delores. I know it comes with scheduling capabilities so I shouldn't need that burgundy planner, but I do. I'm not good with techy stuff and I love to pull out my datebook and hold it up so you can't see it and leaf through it while holding my pen between my teeth and pretend that it is so full that I can hardly squeeze anything else in there. It makes me feel important. If you only click on one link here, click that one. It is one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life and even if you've already seen it you'll laugh again.

The fact that I'm even considering a PDA should shock you. What won't shock you is that I just learned the term PDA today when researching PDA's. I always called them Palm Pilots. I didn't know that Palm Pilots were a brand-named thing. I didn't even really know what Palm Pilots were, other than calculator-looking things with a calendar inside. I also didn't know what a Blackberry was until a few months ago when I got to touch one at Jake's birthday party. I thought they were just non-flip telephones with a keyboard for communicating with your boss. I had no idea they were like, a computer with social non-work-related functions. That you can talk on. I'm such a techtard.

With all these things I'll be so organized and professional that you'll hate me. I'll hate me. But things will be getting done! On time! In an orderly fashion! Fashion should be capitalized there! I'll be so orderly and Fashionable and professional that I'll be exhausted by November and then it will all fall apart and my fiscal year and my chronological year resolutions will be put off until it is time to make calendar year resolutions.

It's a viscious cycle, complete with one of those downward spiral vertigo optical illusion things and proverbial tubes that suck you in and away from everything, these resolutions.