Because I'm not a jerk, I don't use my extraordinary power of femme (that's a joke. Most people who don't know me think I'm a lesbian) to get things.

But I does likes to hangs out in the ghetto during daylight hours, and I learned long ago that sometimes you can still be slightly butchy and have things handed to you because that is the rules of the street.

I have been looking for a wire-thin white gold band to go with an aquamarine solitaire I just had sized so I can wear it as a wedding set. If you've ever shopped for a wire-thin white gold band you know that they cost twice as much as a thicker band. No one can explain why this is to me. One jeweler tried to make me believe some sort of weird story about hand-pulled gold but I think it was a bunch of bunk. I gave up on the real jewelry stores who were charging at least $150 for a band the thickness of a paperclip and started hitting up the pawn shops. I didn't want to pay more than $20 because it is probably really only $5 worth of gold.

I don't know if you have ever shopped in a pawn shop, but they range from slightly sheisty to horrifyingly heartbreaking because you know a lot of that stuff was stolen from an old lady by her addict grandchild. Pawnbrokers are a surly sort. If you ever go, you need to know exactly what you want or you'll have all sorts of junk put under your nose. Oh, and stay near the door. My story is that I lost my wedding ring and I wanted one that looks exactly like my old one, and yes, my husband will notice because it was a family ring. (note: lying to a pawnbroker does not count against your record). They all only had tacky looking broken up and bent bands, and none of them had anything thin enough for what I wanted. I had pretty much given up but stopped at the one on 12th just below South today just because it was on my way to where I was going. I told the (shirtless) guy what I wanted, and he pulled out a ring that fit me perfectly.

The only problem with the ring was that it has a diamond set onto it. Very small, like a child's or a promise ring. He apologized for the "problem" while taking out his receipt book. I guess I looked at him funny, because he apologized again and said "oh, I'm not charging you. I'm writing down the name of my cousin who is a jeweler over on 7th and Sansom. He can take that diamond right out". I asked him how much it was, and he said "free. You are so nice and you are the prettiest girl I've ever seen. It fits you perfectly. Wear it in good health."

I said no, he insisted, so I kept it and I walked out of the store and got on the bus really really fast. I'll take it to his cousin as a favor, but I'm giving a fake name. Because, well. Because I don't want to end up paying for this ring after all.

Oh, and it is true, you know, that stuff about being the prettiest girl.

I mean, I'm probably not the prettiest girl you've ever seen, but I'll bet I'm the prettiest girl he ever has.


Rinny said...

this is my new favorite story.

Amy Jo said...

My lesbian friend totally thought you were hot and wanted to make out with you.

The Swiss Miss said...

The ring was free or taking out the diamond was free? Either way, cool beans!

Lora said...

the ring was free. the diamond removal I will pay for.

I would have totally made out with Marissa, had it not been for the fact that we were at Lucy's First Birthday Party and it didn't seem like that kind of party. Oh, yeah, and the fact I have a husband...

a husband who would be totally bummed that he missed out on seeing that

Mara J. said...

Who ever said "it ain't easy being beautiful" obviously never knew you, Lora!

LJ said...

Aww! Little moments.