in twos in twos

Two people emailed me to find out what, exactly, constitutes a fatgirl and why do I use that word so much.

Fatgirls are all my special lady friends who routinely give the world the finger and eat baskets of fried potatoes and cheese and stacks of loaded nachos instead of salad and only accept chicken in finger form and take beer and ice cream by the pint and cookies by the dozen and never hesitate to stay up late to talk about important things like booze and boys and bitches and babies and try to get to school once in awhile so they don't have to be waitresses forever even though they rock out at carrying heavy trays high above their heads from gettin up in the gym to work on the fitness once in awhile and can manage a bar full of douches who feel the need to keep their ties on after five o'clock better than any cowboy working a roadhouse and all the old men think we're classic and the young boys think we are the non-slutty bizzy and all the other girlies can't figure out why they want to borrow our shirts and stay near us in public 'cause dey can't be hatin' 'cause we so fat.

It has nothing to do with size, it has everything to do with attitude.

Holler.

And two people told me I look like Tuesday Weld in two totally separate incidents and that makes me real proud because she is the ultimateoriginal fatgirl crazybitch and I feel so much better about reminding people of her rather than the Drew Barrymore/Meg Ryan connection that most people make.