Holiday Savings

I swear I tried to go green and cut all of the junk and catalogs from my mail. I jumped through all sorts of hoops, copied postal codes, and logged on to tons of websites and Do Not Mail lists. I called all my regular mail and internet order companies and told them that I am doing just fine checking their products online and ordering what I needed. But for some reason every day I come home to a giant pile of advertisements and coupons. Oh the coupons! These gloriously semi-glossed and adorably festive coupons promising me anywhere between thirty and seventy-five percent off my total order. Total! As in, sale items are included. It is as if these companies are paying me to come in and take away their stock for them. Retailers are clearing out and closing down and they need me. Me! They need me to help them get the job done. I'm like an economic superhero. My husband and I (thankfully) still have our jobs. And we certainly still have needs. And the stores have what I need and are willing to take pennies on the dollar if I’m willing to haul it away. Macy’s gave away the store last week, and I bought hundreds and hundreds of dollars of top-name button-down shirts and ties for my husband for about $125. I got a brand new set of pots and pans, originally $350 for $150. I left the store because I couldn’t fit anything else into the cab. Well, that and I was afraid of the damage I could do in there because my brain wasn’t set to “spending”, it was stuck on “saving”, and that is a dangerous way to go about your afternoon.

I have a stack of those postcard coupons in my day planner. I have nothing but time this week because my son is out of town with my dad for nine days. I absolutely have to get rid of those coupons or I’m going to spend wildly in some sort of delusional sense of security and necessity.
I mean, someday I’ll need new sheets and towels, right? Better stop at the soon-defunct Linens and Things and get them cheap now, because who knows if the price of linens (and things) will be rising sharply in the first quarter of the new year. Forty percent off Lucky Jeans? Lucky Jeans make my butt look phenomenal. Let's go at lunch, and you can try a pair on too and raise your self-esteem by way more than forty percent. Thirty percent off at Pottery Barn? That makes everything almost reasonably priced. I should just stop by and check out what they have. Fifty percent off one item at Home Depot? Certainly I need at least one item at Home Depot. And since I'm getting fifty percent off of one, that means I can spend the other fifty percent on everything else I need because it is like I'm getting it for free.

As of right now, I refuse to buy anything else that doesn't have to do with food or shelter. Okay, as of tomorrow. As of tomorrow I refuse to buy anything else. I don’t really need anything, and I certainly don’t need anything sitting around my house waiting to be needed. But it’s just so hard to turn my back on these companies who are so obviously concerned about our need to save money during these tough economic times. They are being awfully accommodating and sweet about things, aren't they? I feel like I owe them just one tiny peek...