thanksgiving eve

I haven't been keeping up with my full-disclosure account of my baby-free week. In all honesty, it's been boring. Good boring, but boring nonetheless.

Jake left about 5 or so on Saturday, and by 6.30 we were crapped out on the couch until about 9.30 when we rented Forgetting Sarah Marshall, watched it, loved it, and went back to sleep for another eight hours.

Sunday found us running around and actually getting things done, which is much different than running around trying to get things done. I almost forgot what a truly productive day feels like. Normally I feel on top of the world if there are no dishes in the sink by the time I give up on the day. When I went to bed Sunday the basement was almost totally clean, the laundry was done, the Christmas shopping was close to finished, the downstairs was immaculate, and I went to a birthday party. Holy crap. That's a lot.

Monday work. And then we finished up the basement. Tuesday work and a mediocre haircut and dinner at our favorite Vietnamese restaurant and a fruitless attempt at hooking up the new Wii (that's our Christmas present to ourselves, I'm waiting impatiently to find a Fit somewhere in this town but it seems that they are all bought up) on the TV we already have. Wii failed. Round two of presents to ourselves is a smallish TV for the basement. And no, we aren't letting Jake know anything about this second television and the wildly exciting entertainment playland that we are setting up for ourselves down there. This makes me wonder what secrets my parents held from me. Probably not many since I have bionic hearing and a penchant for nosing around and I knew about the Playboys under the bed (dad) and the Archway Dutch Cocoa cookies in the bedside drawer (mom). Also, just as an aside, please don't keep incriminating Polaroids under the cookies in your nightstand. Kids search everywhere when you aren't home, and no one needs to be scarred like that. And besides the aside, I just have to say that after I saw the pictures for the first time, I kept going back to steal cookies, but I did it with my eyes closed. Some things only need to be seen once.

Today is Wednesday and I am sitting at work listening to people make plans for tomorrow. I love to listen to people talk to their mothers. There is a lot of mouth breathing and eye rolling and finger guns pointed at heads. And immediate follow up calls to siblings so the bitching and moaning can be done privately and today so no one explodes in front of Grandma tomorrow afternoon.
I'm going to a friend's grandmother's house out in West Philly in a couple hours to help with the cooking but will absolutely not be doing any cooking of my own. Then tonight I might run around with my number one lady friend or we might sit in one of our houses and drink something. Tomorrow we will swing by a few places and mooch food. Call me if you need us to help you with your leftovers.

What else?

The tree is up. And most of the other stuff. I guess I could poke around and see what else I have in the cellar and decide whether I want to put more up, but I like the way things look now.

I'm debating on whether to dye my hair again. I like it now, but I like it dark too and maybe I'll like my haircut better if it is a nice auburn chestnut color. I need to repaint my toenails too. Which reminds me I promised to do the touchups on the downstairs paint. Crike. I wish there were elves that did stuff like that for you. Trolls, even. Whatever as long as it gets done.

Sure I miss the boy, but not to the point where I want him home yet. Mornings are bliss and I'm making good on my promise not to fall asleep by 8.30. I haven't quite mastered the art of staying up until midnight, but I think tonight may be a turning point for all that.

This is the millionth time that we have been away from Jake for this long. I guess that isn't really normal, is it? That boy gets passed around from house to house and has been raised like a gypsy child from about six months old. There are perks of having family who like taking your kid. I have friends with kid's Jake's age who have never had a babysitter. I don't know anyone else who is away from their kid for a week+ several times per year, except for custody issues. I couldn't do all this mom stuff without time apart. I need this time for me to try to figure out who I am anymore. It is so easy to get wrapped up in parenting that I can lose myself in my child and that's not a very good place for me.

I'm jealous of the moms who can raise the kid(s) and stay at home and be all June Cleavery during the day and not want to slice into their arterial walls on a nightly basis. I have a hard time doing it for two whole days on the weekends. I'm almost over the horrible guilt that I can never and will never be the kind of lady who is able to sacrifice and devote everything they have to being a wife and mother and I'm working on being okay with the fact that although my family is my number one priority, there are a lot of very close seconds. Near ties, even. Nothing would ever trump Jake, but man oh man. I sure do like other things. Like myself. And Dave is okay. And I like alone time. And books. And long walks to nowhere. And silence. And grown ups. And and and.

I don't know where this is going, but I don't think I'm going to delete that last paragraph even though it ends in oblivion.

I've gotten a few emails this week how I'm doing without Jake (phenomenally, as always when he is on vacation) and I've gotten several about what it is like to be alone with my husband. Most parents don't have a chance for extended one-on-one time with their spouses post-baby, and marriages are quickly redefined once kids are in the picture.

Well, I guess it's weird, kind of. It's strange for the first day. Sometimes the second, too. Hopefully not the third. This time around we got industrious, and that gives us something to concentrate on while we make the adjustment to being Lora and Dave instead of Mommy and Daddy. Then we just fall into the old rhythm of being us for a few days. Hanging out and bumming around and listening to music and watching TV and talking and eating. I guess that's how things were before Jake. I really don't remember. We were together ten and a half years without Jake and two and a half with. You would think there would be some sort of recollection of the former, but hardly.

I'm computerless at home again. Stupid hard drive. I doubt it will arrive today, so it will be awfully quiet around here until Monday. I'm sure you are thankful for that. Are your ears bleeding yet? I guess it would be your eyes, since you are reading. Is anything on your head bleeding as a result of me? If yes, sorry. If no, call me. I have one hundred things to talk about that I'm not blogging about.

Everyone have a safe and happy Thanksgiving. Eat lots and don't worry about it. You can come over later when I finally get my Wii Fit and we will hide in the basement and get skinny and hot by the time Spring rolls around.