four

My uncles put together a digital photo album for my grandmother, and were kind enough to send me a link to the pics. I've looked at them a dozen times in the past few days, and I think this is my favorite. It was taken at my grandad's funeral luncheon, a month after Jake's first birthday. The best thing about funerals (funerals are generally hilarious and wildly terrific, it's hard to pick a best) is that it gives everyone a chance to get together, minus one.

I think it was the first and only time that Jake, me, my dad, and my grandma were in a room together. It's a neat picture to have.

Family is a funny thing, isn't it? I find myself redefining family all the time. I think it is creepy to count my husband as my family, because it's weird to make babies with family members but I think it's nice to count my friends as family, because some of us are thick as thieves without the messy shared upbringing to screw things up. Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, go sister.

Jake is my family, because anyone willing to put up with my guts for nine months gets a spot in my family. Tyler is my family, even if she is furry and meowy.

I keep in close touch with two of my uncles, pretty good touch with another one of them, and I see the fourth one once or twice a year. He is the one who made me eat puke when I was staying with him for awhile, and I'm still not over that. Does forcing a person to eat vomit immediately cut them out of the family? No, turns out. But rest assured, if someone else made me do it, I'd call the police.

I only talk to one of my aunts regularly. I talk to Dave's aunts and uncles all the time. I guess this makes them family, even if they are inlaws and I don't really get that in today's day and age when you get married you marry the family too. And your fam is my fam and my fam is your fam. The more we get together the happier we'll be. Or not. Luckily you can just pack up and move away if they start coming to your house too often. This is all too much. I'm going to brave the big scary inch of snow out there and get something with lots of caffeine.

Which reminds me, did I tell you that my company changed its dress code policy? We have to cover our underwear now, which is probably a good policy to have in place.
They suggest that we should wear proper undergarments, which will be a disappointment to the braless wonder we have bouncing around here.
They keep stressing the no! denim! of! any! kind! rule. I'm wearing jeans now. What? It snowed today. And I came to the office. I'm entitled.
They also say that clothing should be clean and pressed. I'll agree with 50% of that. It is hard enough to get up and get going without ironing my pants. Eff that. The wrinkles will work themselves out by noon. Plus, if I press them the wrinkles will be back by noon. I like to do all my admin work late in the day, so I'm going to go with letting gravity take over.
There is a section on revealing clothes too, but I swear to god all it says is "revealing clothes". Taking a look around, I'm guessing we are supposed to be wearing them, but I have this thing about showing skin. I hate doing it. I'm practically in a burka all the time.
My current favorite is footwear policies. If you are a fieldworker you aren't allowed to wear open-toed, non-treaded, nor heeled shoes. And of I should not wear flip flops, which I wear every day but I have 100 pairs of shoes under my desk so I change if I have to go anywhere. And I like that the proofreaders didn't catch that someone used the word "should" regarding a few of these policies. Apparently my decision to wear a bra weighs right around my decision to wear flips. So.... I can wear disgustor Crocs but I can't wear my sensible peep-toe Naturalizer pumps? Got it. And I can wear sweat pants, but no jeans? Okay. And I don't have to wear underwear but if I do they can't show? Understood. I just won't wear them so no one has to worry about seeing them.
Oh wait, no. My favorite is the policy on visible tattoos, piercings, and hairstyles. Funny though, it was in the big corporate email but I can't seem to find it on the HR site. Basically no visible tattoos, only two earrings in each ear, and only in the lobe, and no outrageous hairstyles or colors. Okay. We hire people with facial tattoos. Do you know what that means? Some one who got a TATTOO. On his or her FACE. We (they) hire them because they can "really connect with the clients on a level that schooling cannot teach you". Sure. I get it. (read: they are undereducated and will work for $22K per year+benes) But what do they do with their face every day? Bandaids? Bandito-style bandanna neckerchiefs? We have little hippy dippy college kids and "ethnic" people with piercings in their noses and eyebrows and lips and upper ears and- get this- one girl has the nape of her effing neck pierced. Ack!
And hairstyles? Sister, please.
I'm wondering if that little section got challenged before the IT guy got the policy handbook up on the web.
Oh, and no drinking or drugging at all on the job anymore. I know a few people who will get the shakes if they stop drinking on the job, and having the shakes is very detrimental in this field. No one in Harrisburg takes you seriously if you have a serious case of the DTs while you are presenting your new policies to a panel of funders.
We'll see how that one pans out.