honest scrap

Emma from ...because I like waffles and blethers awarded me the honest scrap award! Emma is an Oxford Scholar, yes that Oxford, so everything she does is ten times better and more intellectually stimulating than everything we do over here in America. I'm very jealous of her and I want to have a beer with her one day. Over there, not over here. American beer is piss.

"The Honest Scrap award comes with a caveat or 2. Firstly you have to tell your readers 10 things about you they may not know, but that are true. Secondly you have to tag 10 people with the award."

Ten people.

Oh man. I have tagged a ton of people lately, and last time I asked someone to open up a little bit on the blog I got my head chewed off because OMG her mother reads and what if her mom knew what was REALLY going on in her life? That is horrifying. I totally understand.

I'm still a little skittish about asking people to do something like this. So I am going to crap out on the tagging and ask everyone who wants to do it to put their URL in the comments here so we can all find you and your ten deepest secrets. And if you didn't do the 25 things list, I urge you to do this one. Oh, and if you usually talk about your kids or your work or whatever on your blog, please do this. I want to know about you. Your kid is cute and all, but come on.

Ten things.

1 I never blog drunk

2 I'm a liar

3 I'm mostly in the bag now. I'm sorry, but it has to be this way because I have zero creativity lately and I'm a little amped up right now so this is really best for us all.

4 I am very regimented. It's how I give myself some sort of semblance of sanity in the midst of the madness. For example, I wash my hair on Wednesdays and Saturdays and I only clip my nails on the 1st and 15th of each month.

5 Which reminds me that I'm due for new socks and underwear. I buy them on the first day of each new season and I didn't make it out of the house this weekend because of Jake's birthday party.

6 Five more things about me. Isn't it funny how number 6 brings 5 more things but 10 minus 6 is only 4? That totally blew my mind in the second grade and gave me a complex that I would never understand math so I made it my lifelong mission to master the subject. My grandfather had a Masters Degree in Mathematics and my great grandfather his Doctorate. It's in my genes. I'm phenomenal at advanced math but still haven't grasped simple arithmetic.

I learned to spell arithmetic in kindergarten using the following mnemonic sequence: A Rat In Tom's House May Eat Tom's Ice Cream. It worked so well that I use them for everything. Even grocery lists.

7 When I was little I wanted to grow up so I could wear spandex and crimp my hair and chew bubblegum. I've never really done any of that. I find public gum chewing an abomination. But I like to keep a half a stick under my tongue for fresh breathing. Crimpers and spandex were out by the time I aged into them.

8 In middle school, I used to pretend I rode horses so the richgirls would like me.

9 I don't care much for rich people any more. Let me rephrase. I don't care much for people who flaunt their wealth. Especially if they are using it to perpetuate themselves rather than society. (Please give a little of what you have. It means the world to those that have not. Seriously, $5 buys more than a latte. Believe it or not. And, not all poor people are drug addicts. Surprise!)

10 All day long I thought about those little kids in the Montana plane crash and I couldn't get the image out of my mind of being on that plane and holding Jake on the way down and apologizing to him that I couldn't keep him safe, even though I promise him every day that I will always do my best to keep him safe.

thus, the drinking...