I want to thank all of you who have suggested that I enter Jake's pictures into contests and such. It fills my cup with joy to know that I'm not the only one in the world who thinks he is one of the Top 100 Most Beautiful Boychildren in the Whole Wide World.
But I haven't entered him anywhere.
Long time readers and my real life PIK (people I know) might know that back in the olden days I used to work with sex offenders. Good times. It was hard, I guess, sure. But I felt like my work might save one child from being victimized and that let me sleep better at night than did my weekend job of Pool Attending at the Holiday Inn.
Part of my job was to do home searches. We would flip the house upside down looking for porn and drugs and weapons. We always found it, despite those being pre-internet times.
Boatloads of kiddie porn was accessible before the internet?, you ask. Of course it did. Sadly though, more of it was homemade.
These guys made their own pornrags. Most of them would cut pictures of little kids out of the Sears catalogues and Kmart ads and such and paste them into notebooks or put them behind that clear film in those albums with the sticky stuff that turns yellow.
Pampers had little kids running around in no more than a diaper on the packages.
Hanes and Fruit of the Loom showed children having a great time in their underpants on the bag.
Lots of magazine ads showed cute babies running around, giggly and naked. Parenting and women's magazines were a wealth of peachy little asses and they probably only cost $2.50 at the time.
Children's clothing ads showed bathing suit ads, and close ups of kids' faces staring longingly into the camera.
One man took a bunch of GapKids posters out of the dumpster behind the store and hung them on his ceiling. Another had one of those huge Kodak posters that you see above the counter at drugstore photolabs. He cut the mouth out of a little girl's picture and used it as a fuckhole. And told us all about it when we asked.
I could go on, but then I would be talking about the people who volunteer at their church's VBS and Sunday school to take and develop pictures of the kids that attend and don't tell the pastor that they kept the doubles. Because no one questions a religious man who seems like he is helping. Especially in the hood where there is a huge lack of male rolemodels. Or the guy who has a zoom lens at the public pool. Or the camp counselor at the Y who didn't mind making sure that the boys behaved in the locker room. See, he was the only male counselor there so there was no one else to monitor the locker rooms. Or what goes on in them. He had this little point and shoot that didn't need flash. Or the guys who only dated women with children who fit a certain "type", or the uncles, fathers, or how about WOMEN who offended. That's a whole nother issue. I could go on, but those kind of guys aren't the kind that I'm talking about.
So, I don't want Jake's picture out there for someone to jerk off into. Do I have his pictures online? Yes. Can you lift them right off my blog and put them on your computer? Yes. Do I let him out of the house? Yes.
I don't want to be over paranoid, and I don't think I am. I just have little hang ups about things like that. When you've seen a child's picture with a pasty organic substance flung across it, your life changes forever.
I would LOVE to win a $10K bond that I can use to open an account for Jake's education. I would LOVE for other people to think my kid was so cute that they would pay me to take his picture (hughheffnerlarryflint). I would LOVE for my kid to be a child star (dannybonaducedrewbarrymore). Or, well, maybe not.
If Jake needs FAFSA to pay for college, so be it. I had to and even though I think it sucks that Sallie Mae owns me, I'm no less of a person. I'd rather have a student loan than a creepy adult fanbase.