Although I did have a brief moment this morning when my ovary said, "hey Lora! You know, have you ever considered that you might actually like being a new mom the second time around?".
And I was all like "bitch, please. Babies are just like (I really really want to type "anal sex" right here but that is so incredibly wrong). I only need to do it once to know how I feel about it".
Motherhood is actually enjoyable now. It doesn't hurt anymore. I'll even admit that it feels good, now that I've figured out a way to do it that works. I don't want to mess it up by tossing something else in there just for the sake of novelty.
There ain't no degree of Spring Fever nor any datepage on my Lady Calendar that is going to convince me otherwise.
~*~~**~~***~~~**~~*~
Jenn over at My Life with the Crazies!!! has awarded me with the Lemonade Award! Thank you so much Jenn, that totally made my day! You know the award is supposed to be handed out, but I'm totally cheating. It's my blog, and I can do what I want even though I feel terribly guilty about it. I'd rather send everyone over to my profile, and ask you to click randomly on a few of the blogs listed at the bottom. I don't follow junk, so I promise that even if it isn't something you would normally read, it will be good.
My blog is like Outback Steaks. No rules, just right.
And that's how I justify likening babies to buttsex.
And now I want to start a blog called Babies to Buttsex.
Or call the SAT people and ask them to add in a babies:buttsex question.
22 degrees {comments}:
To quote Daniel Tosh, "Anal sex is a lot like spinach. If you're forced to have it as a child, you won't like it when you become an adult. Which makes sense because they're both green."
you slay me. I am so done having kids that I can't even stand pg women anymore. Well I can stand them, just no lust to be them. >shudder< Which works out well since I had my lovely annual today at the midwives office full of preggos!
I can never spell rhythm without extreme thought and concentration.
I suggest listening to your ovary on this one. You have so much to offer.
I want to see your stat counter after that post and the keyword hits you get for posting buttsex.
And...just how are babies like buttsex? I must have missed that post!
Okay. You ask me to check your follow list and say that you don't follow JUNK. I checked your list. I wasn't on it.
My right testicle said, "No, she didn't!"
I'm not even gonna touch that buttsex/babies thing.
I was, however, shocked when I read: "HEATHER! said [...] I had my lovely anal today [....]"
What is wrong with you people?
"Writer on Board" reads as well as I do...I missed the whole buttsex reference at the beginning and he (or she, who am I to judge) read that Heather had lovely *anal* today. We are a mess!
LOL :)
Oh dear heaven. I SO want to use that analogy in an earnest conversation sometime.
That analogy (pun intended) was really vulgar and I hated it but the SAT thing slayed me.
I am so glad I made your day,.. you are totally award~worthy my friend!!
I came here because my google alerts went crazy with your buttsex post. I didn't expect to see a comparison to babies, but such is life.
Oh, you totally want another baby. You aren't fooling any of us!
(by the way, I hope your readers understand that the first part of my comment was pure sarcasm)
I'm laughing so hard right now! What a hilarious analogy! BTW, my daughters take the ACT tomorrow morning...
It's wonderful to be able to laugh at our bodies, isn't it?
Oh you crack me up. Can't say I'm touching the buttsex thing either! Too funny.
Cracking me up with the buttsex :) If one's enough, then don't push it. That's how I'm gonna approach it, because I'm pretty sure I'm only gonna be able to handle one.
That made me laugh out loud again! I actually feel the same way. Not a big baby person. If given the choice I would rather hold someone's puppy than there baby any day of the week. Mine are 10 and 11. I'm off duty now.
We totally gotta hang off the computer. We'd have fun.
Does anyone else see BUTTERSEX everytime they read that. Oh, ok me either.
Great post, as always. Here Here for no more babies!
You're pregnant, aren't you.
To paraphrase a non-English-major friend, "This post will go down in the anals of blogdom."
Hilarious! I LOVE that you quoted the Outback Steakhouse commercial. Butt sex, really? Whatever, you still crack me up!
I had to read this post out loud to Kyle (which I do often). You crack us up!
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