please advise

(note: I've edited this because I really don't like having information about someone else's brat on my site. If you didn't get a chance to read the original, let me know, I'll be glad to send it to your email)

Let me start by saying:
Nakeds. We all have one. Some of us have innies and some of us have outties and we all have boobs and hair patches of varying sizes and locations. Big effing deal.
Jake knows all the private parts (everything covered by a bathing suit) and how to honor his and respect everyone else's.

There is a little girl who is giving all sorts of mixed messages to my boy. She talks about her vagina (she calls it a peach), she lifts her shirt and asks Jake to lift his so they can touch bellies, she loves to see the boys' butts, she pinches nipples and offers hers to be pinched back and she's been trying to take the boys under the kitchen table while she does this.

I almost don't give a rat's ass about any of this. They are three year olds that spend a lot of time together and that's what three year olds do and lucky for moms everywhere three year olds also talk about every damned thing they did during the day, especially fun stuff like belly rubs and boobie pinches and when I ask Jake if he has ever touched her vagina he says no and when I ask if she has touched his penis he screams NOOOOO! because that's what I taught him to do if anyone ever touches his penis.

I tell Jake that it isn't nice to pinch butts or boobs or show bellies and his answer is always "she wants me to but I said no" or "I didn't but she did" and I tell him to be sure it stays that way. I tell him it's okay to wonder what a vagina looks like and it's okay for a girl to wonder what a penis looks like but it's not okay to look and touch one anothers. And he understands that.

I have spoken to all adults involved in this, and everyone is aware there is a problem. These children are not left unsupervised, but like adults, kids know how to sneak a pinch or a slap or a feel in no time flat. The mother of this girl has been unwilling to see that there is a major problem

I feel like it's important to mention that this little girl dances like she belongs on Univision.
Real Sabado Gigante stuff.
It's hard to look at.
Sad.
She is tanned.
She has a haircut that rivals anything I've ever done with my mop.
I see where she is headed.

4.25 am today Jake runs out of his bedroom upset because
"mickey wanted to be like his friend donald so he didn't wear any pants and when he went out to play with goofy and donald and daisy and minnie he got in trouble because minnie saw his penis and now they can't play together because minnie's mom said so".

I told him that Mickey was wrong to leave his pants in the Clubhouse and he shouldn't be running around with his penis out and hopefully Minnie's mom explains to Minnie that if anyone ever shows her his penis again she is to go tell a grownup and it was only a dream and sometimes dreams can be scary or upsetting but it's all over now.

That's a little different than what's going on in his life, but I'm sure it's tied together.

Am I handling this right?

Should I be more uptight? Less?
This little girl will most likely be out of here by fall so I'm thinking to just let it drop and hope it doesn't go any further than it does but Ack! I don't think anything of a sexual nature involving children should just be hoped away, no matter how age appropriate.
I'm confident that the hugs and kisses and peeks and touches between the two (and the other boys at daycare) are completely innocent but it upsets me to think that a mom thinks my son is invading her daughter's personal space.
That's my big issue here. The rest of it is fluff. Developmental fluff. Ohgod. Fluff is such a bad choice of word. The rest is fringe. Developmental fringe. I don't want anyone thinking that my child is hurting someone. I want to be sure we are all clear on everything.
It bothers me that I'm thinking of a little girl as being "fast". That I'm picturing her sweet little manicured hands on my child's body. So gross and disturbing.

I know that Jake is being raised in a house that maybe has a little more openness about penises and vaginas and boobs than some other kids are, but the only openness that is present at home is the fact that girls have vaginas to pee out of and boys have penises to pee out of and mommies have bigger boobs than daddies because they make milk to feed the babies in them.
Jake is allowed to touch his penis all he wants, in his bedroom. He knows that he isn't to touch it in front of anyone else and no one should touch thier penis or vagina in front of him.
Jake knows that no one else other than a doctor, mommy, and daddy should ever touch his penis. Not even if he is at a relative's house getting a bath. He can go unwashed down there for a day and it's not going to fall off.
He knows nothing about penetration or any other creepo sexy stuff. I don't even think that he thinks that babies drink out of boobs, just that milk is made there and then babies get bottles. I didn't have to explain to him that babies come out of vaginas, thanks to the miracles of modern science and the almost-faded 4 inch scar I have on my belly.

So what? What do I do?
My poor kid is having dreams about Mickey's penis.
How do I get through this without giving my kid some weird complex that lands him living in my basement when he's 40 years old because he is so afraid of mouse vaginas and pantsless ducks that he's afraid to do anything that involves taking off his shirt in front of aggressive women?

If I have one goal in parenting it's this: I don't want to be responsible for my boy growing up to be a sexless Dungeons and Dragons weirdo.

Tell me, how can I be sure that won't happen?