trash day

I don't expect much from people who hold certain positions.

Fast food workers
Metermaids
Paperboys
Janitors
Low end department store associates

Who takes these jobs?
1) high school kids and under-educated adults
2) people who are half retarded
3) people who are in one hell of a bind and need a job.
4) old people

I've been a high school kid. With a job. And sometimes I didn't perform up to par because I had bigger problems than ice cream. Problems like boys and math and clothes and eyemakeup.

I've never been half retarded (for more than a few hours at a stretch) but if I was I know that there may be some situations that present themselves in a schleppy job that would be pretty hard to deal with if I was ringing in with about an 80 IQ.

I've been in a bind for a job and have taken on some tasks that I wasn't very happy about it, and I wanted to make sure that everyone I encountered knew how I felt. Knew I was too good to be doing what I was getting paid for.

I'm going to be old one day. "Thank you for shopping at fries with that! Would you like to have some Walmart? Don't step on the comic section! I'm reading this pile of dust on the floor."

So, when I get a $36 ticket despite a broken meter and a note on my windshield and I speak to the lady who wrote it and she looks like she showers in the carwash, I have a hard time getting mad at her when she tells me I have to take it to court.

And when I get a $25 ticket from the Recycling Patrol because I was tired of people throwing their trash in front of my house so I put a wastebasket out there and then I was cited for not separating out the recyclables on Wednesday mornings I can't get mad at the trashpolice. As if I'm going to separate! There is poop in there! And when I tried to contest it they ignored me and doubled my fine and so I just ate the $50 and hoped that the City used it for something good.

Like paying metermaids.

And then last night I got a $50 fine for setting out my trash too early despite the fact that it was a tiny bag full of street trash and the vandalized bricks that were around my tree that I refused to drag through my house until trash day. They were set back between the front steps and the bay window, hardly visible from the street so I called the hotline and they told me that I needed to take it to court.

So I am. I am taking these tickets to court because I'm tired of just rolling over and sending a check the way I always do. I might even buy a suit so I look official and shiz.

I blame Philadelphia. Not the people who write the tickets. It's time to take myself and put me up there in front of damned Philadelphia.

The people who write the tickets are either undereducated or halfretarded or completelydesperate and they have to dig through people's trash and cars and walk up and down the street and they take it out on us by finding the slightest infraction and writing us up.

Their problem isn't my car/trash/recycling/problem. Their problem is that their life sucks and they are only worth base rate pay and they never get to sit down indoors and enjoy a nice beverage and some air conditioning and frivolous interneting on company time. Then they probably go home to their base rate house with their base rate kids and their base rate lover and eat base rate food in front of base rate cable on a base rate couch before going to sleep in a base rate bed and wake up to do it all over again.

At least that's what I tell myself so I don't curse them out in my head while I tuck the ticket in with the bills I'll pay tomorrow morning.

Hooray payday!

Upyours ticketeers!