HonestsCrap

I can't get enough of the Honest Scrap award.  Seriously.  It helps me with coming up with something to post, too.  Ten things?  No problem.  One thing?  Impossible.

I always have a lot to get out.

Alix from Casa Hice could quite possibly be the number one reason for my high level of self esteem lately.  She is always showering me with compliments, and I eat them up as fast as she dishes them out.  Sometimes a girl needs that every once in awhile.
I found Alix's blog somewhere, when somebody linked to a post she wrote about hairloss.  I'm losing my hair.  Alix is losing her hair.  I needed to know all about someone else who was dealing with mounds of hair in the drain and the comb.  If someone mentions the slightest thing about  hairloss, I'm all over them.  Asking questions and taking notes.  But Alix is more than a balding buddy.  I really like her blog, and look forward to her posts.  They are silly and serious and sweet and sincere and smart all at the same time.  I like that in a blog.  I like that in Alix.

1) If you don't drink mint juleps, you should.
I do.  With Maker's Mark.  They are good for nice weather because they are minty and cold and good for bad weather because they are minty and warm.  That's the nice thing about bourbon.  It's a multi-tasker.
(I don't have any Maker's Mark left)

2) The best hair, makeup, and fashion advice I get?  I get from my boy.  He has no problem telling me that something looks really nice or something looks really bad.  If it were up to him, I'd be in a dress and heels with my hair parted on the right and dyed dark, wearing blue and brown eye make up with lots of mascara.  And diamond earrings.
The boy has taste.  I look pretty awesome like that.

3) When I was in sixth grade I got picked on by these seventh grade kids.  They were cousins, and they all lived together in a big house, with all their parents.  Like some sort of commune or something.  I ate it for a few days, and then told a teacher when they started getting mean.  When they made fun of me for telling, I railed into them, telling them that they should wonder why they don't have any friends that they aren't related to and when they made fun of my clothes I said things about how I can change my clothes but they can never change their fat white faces and bright red hair and when they made fun of me for living at my grandfather's house I told them that they must be so poor they can't afford their own houses or any water because they all smell like fish probably because their fathers fuck their dirty mothers before he fucks them and it is a damned shame that they have to walk around smelling like their mother's pussy all day. 
Then they told on me for making fun of them.

But I was happy I did.  And still am.  They were mean to a lot of people and no one would stand up to them.
I got in a little bit of trouble, but nothing serious.  I think the teacher was more shocked that little old good girl me knew how to say such nasty things.  He probably wondered what the hell was going on in my house, now that I think about it.

4) I had a great conversation (where conversation is me unloading 100 words a minute and him saying nothing) with my dad the other day in the car.  It was basically me talking about how I'm so disappointed with my _____ and I can't believe that they are the _____ that I got and when you are little and think about your _____ you would never in a million years dream that your _____ would be like that.  And how it makes me feel so bad and sad and mad that those are my _____ but what the hell am I supposed to do because I can't save the entire world nor do I want to try because if I fail at saving my _____ I will feel like I can't do anything right.  So it's gotten to the point that I don't even have one drop of love for my _____ because I can't even like my _____ if I try my hardest.  And that's just pitiful.

I've omitted the nouns to protect the innocent but boy howdy did it feel good to get that out.  And it felt even better to have him say that he understands.

5) Sometimes I wish I had an anonymous blog so I could talk about the things that really upset me.  Like my _____.

6) I was at the park last night and there was a dad there with his 17 month old son and 2.5 year old daughter.  He let them play on the giant jungle gym and his son ended up falling five feet off a platform through an opening in the fencing that was there so the kids could slide down a fire pole.  I didn't see it happen, but I wasn't watching the kid.  Sometimes I do watch other kids, but never in a million years would I think that he would allow his 17 month old son crawl around up there unattended so I was watching Jake (who has only recently been allowed on this jungle gym in the past few months because it just looks dangerous and he is only allowed on the stairs and the slides).  The dad was playing Pretty Pretty Princess Castle with his daughter, 30 or so feet away.  I was close to the boy, and went over and placed my hand on his butt to let him know that someone was there.  I didn't want to pick him up in case his neck was broken.  The dad came running across when I screamed for him and of course he was mortified.  He didn't say anything to me, he was probably just as embarrassed as he was scared.

I was thinking about it, and felt sorry for him.  The kid was okay, as far as I know.  They left after it happened.  I wondered if he thought I thought he was a bad dad.  I don't. Beyond letting his babies play on something they aren't ready for and then not spotting them when they are five to fifteen feet in the air with nary a guard to keep them up there.  That's a little negligent.  But he's a dad and it's his job to let the kids take a risk, right?  And not hover over them like a doting mother hen.
It's how kids develop esteem.
Or something.
I don't know.
I certainly think he should have been in the little playground, the ones for kids under age 5 rather than the one for kids over age 5, considering he had two brats to look after.  The baby gym platforms are entirely enclosed and only 3 feet high.  But whatever.
Then I wondered how I would feel if it was a mother who let the kid jump.  I'd probably think she was a shitty mom.  And that's not fair. 
Accidents happen.  And even if he was doing something that I wouldn't necessarily do, it wasn't his fault that the kid took a header.  Or was it?
I don't know.
But I know that I shouldn't feel sorry for a parent when it's a dad and angry when it's a mom.  That's sexist.

7) I don't really like the other moms and dads at the park much.  I think the feeling is mutual.  Perhaps I'm a bit standoffish, but I never seem to make any friends over there, and the few people I met just weird me out after I get to talking to them.   My standard for a MomFriend is "would I let this person care for my child without my supervision".  I think that's a fair standard.

8)  Jake got picked on for the first time yesterday by some big kids (kindergarteners.  Their mothers assured me that they were good Catholic School Children and they just don't know what's gotten into them! and they must have heard those words at school! because that is not the way they talk at home.  This ten minutes after they told me they were shocked that I had no plans to send my child to Catholic School because "oh! the kids there are so nice and polite and well mannered and I don't have to worry about little junior at all because I know he's in good hands... God's hands") and it broke Jake's heart and mine but I told him that if he's on the playground and kids make fun of him he can make fun of them back and those kids were stupid little jerks.
The one mom "diffused" the situation by calling her boy to go home, where there was his favorite TV dinner and ice cream waiting since the nun said he was so good at The Blessed and Hallowed St. Nick's today.  The other mom took her kid away and told me over her shoulder that maybe I should reconsider Catholic School because she is having a great experience with it.

If there is one thing I know about Catholic School Children?  Yeah...

9)  My new kitchen counter is scheduled to be installed next Tuesday.  I'm really banking on it to brighten up my kitchen life.

10) I take the boy to swim class soon.  It's gorgeous out.  75 and sunny.  These are the sort of days I live for.  The leaves are falling and the sky is blue and the apples are crisp and the air is too.
I call it Indian Summer.
Feather.  Not dot.