There is a new Mommy and Me event in my neighborhood. It happens once a month at a place that I guess could sorta technically be called a restaurant, but it's not like a Friday's or something. It's a large bar, with lots of tables. The bar is around the corner from my house. I can practically spit on it. I'm quite familiar with it. Quite.
I've actually taken Jake there once when it first opened, but only to sit outside and he was so small that he slept in the stroller the whole time. The bar is clean enough for kids, I guess, as if there is a health department cleanliness standard for such a thing. But it's not really a place for children. It's a hipster hotspot. The food is good and the drinks are better but the crowd is so douchey that it isn't worth going unless you can get there off-hours. I highly recommend getting there if you can get there off-hours.
The event is billed as a coolkid alternative to coffee shops and playgrounds, and the kids will do crafts and eat snacks while the moms can drink half priced drinks for two hours while they get to know each other.
As much as I hate coffee momdates with kids in tow because you can't really talk with a grown up because half the time you are worried about shushing the child so it doesn't disturb the people using the 'bucks as an office and as much as I hate playground meet ups where you can't really talk with a grown up because half the time you are worried about making sure you don't see your child's brains on the ground, and as much as I love half priced drinks with other moms, I don't like half priced drinks with other moms that end with those other moms strapping their snacked up crafty children into the backseat for the long drive home. Or the short drive home. Or any drive home.
Have I had a few drinks in front of my child? Yes.
Have I driven in a car after a few drinks? No.
Living in the city I have the luxury of cabs and buses and sidewalks so if I find myself accidrunk it's no big deal, but not everyone has that luxury.
If I were to hooky work to go to this Mommybaby Happyhour (not that I was invited or anything...), I could drink my face off and Jake could drag me home by the bootstraps and put me to bed no problem. But I wonder how close the other moms live to this place.
In theory, this is a genius idea. In practice, it makes me a little bit nervous. A lot bit.
As much as I hate to admit it, there have been times recently (read: last weekend) when two drinks push me over the limit. If I don't eat a giant meal and drink gallons of water and the moon isn't in the right house and I don't say the right hex as I walk backwards out my front door and flip the lock three times, I'm done for. Half priced drinks sound delish, but they reek of well booze. Well booze sends me into a downward spiral faster than you can guess my cat's middle name.
It's Jane.
Tyler Jane.
She's my best girl.
Meowr.
Tyler looks like an owl. I love her so much. She hasn't been feeling so well lately, her guts are in knots. I'm giving her a little bit of wet food every now and then to see if that loosens her up a bit.
Did you know that dry food has a lot of carbs and cats shouldn't really be eating carbs?
I should put her on Atkins.
She doesn't really need to lose weight, but she needs to get better.
Regular.
Poor girl.
She weighs 10.5 pounds now. She weighed 27 pounds at her peak.
She has a lot of extra skin.
Too bad they don't have something like a Locks of Love for cat pelts.
I'm guessing I'm not alone in the increased age/decreased tolerance thing. I hope this pans out okay for everyone. All it takes is one extra drink/delayed reaction/_____ _____.
This gets me the same way as Baby Loves Disco does. Ever hear about that? Gives me the creeps.
Is it just me who has panties that get in a bunch with this kind of stuff? I think social drinking is okay, and I think doing it in front of your kids is okay, provided it is done in a safe and clean place and as long as the social drinker isn't driving the child (or anyone) home afterwards.
Might I check this out? I might. I might come late and leave early. I might order a drink, but I'll steer clear of the special because I know that is asking for trouble and though I may be a boozehound, I tend to be responsible about it WHEN I HAVE MY BABY IN TOW.
So I might check this out Especially if some people I know are there. But I do have some reservations about the whole thing.
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36 degrees {comments}:
I agree that there's nothing wrong with having a drink or two, provided you're not strapping a child to a car seat and driving afterward. There's nothing wrong with social drinking - they do it plenty of other countries and the children are fine.
I also live withing spitting distance of a bar. The other day's sub job was so bad that my husband took me for drink around 7pm. Then I was done for! Apparently, I don't have a high tolerance when it's not a glass of wine.
i was going through my setting on my urbanity page to make sure i did the email thing right because i had a friend say he didnt get the email. anyway, while rummaging around the site i saw that you had posted. i was also about to head upstairs to finish watching 'inglorious basterds'. so when i saw the length of the post i thought i'd read it later tonite or tomorrow because the basterds were waiting. but when i clicked on the link, 'atkins diet' jumped out at me. i wrote something about the diet two nights ago in my notebook and, as you know, thats the second time in a week where you've said something about what i was going to post about.
anyway, now that ive 'tweeted' how my night is going, i started reading and couldnt stop so here we are ; )
ive had drinks around my kids and have liquor cabinet full of goodies, but going out in a setting as this is...odd?? they seem to have meant well but i think they've missed. i think they're trying to mix two things that have to be in the right setting to work right and not to mention safely!
anyway, the basterds await
Drinking and driving?? Bad idea!! What are they thinking? Oh that is right...they aren't thinking at all! It is all for money! So drink up ladies and have fun!
Hugs
SueAnn
I am from a state where our young spend time in bars. We scare them with pickled eggs and other space oddities. My cousin even works in a bar (cough, for now).
I am much less bothered by the drinking than the Mommy and Me group. I hate mommy groups 'cause "mommies that need a break" make me itch.
Why don't they have a designated driver or have a daddy pick up. I think it would be fine to suggest it.
I should preface this by saying that either my husband or I drank when there were young children in our lives. Never both. Because I was anal back then and concerned there may be an emergency that needed tending later on.
You used a form of one of my favorite words - douchey. I never tire of it. It always makes me laugh. Always.
Then you created a fabulous new word - accidrunk. I got a good laugh out of it and can tell I'll never tire of it.
But then I made myself laugh. This is what I read (paraphrasing) - "She weighs 10.5 pounds. She weighed 27 pounds last week."
So I was either a very bad blogpost reader or a very good one, depending on your perspective.
Drinking, as with most things,is perfectly fine in moderation. The whole Mommy hour at the bar thing is quite unique. I'm guessing some of those moms will be happy not to have to drink alone at home anymore. ;)
Haven't you heard? his is the new fad. Moms are meeting at each others houses for wine instead of coffee now too. Drinking in moderation is fine. Drinking and then strapping your kid in their car seat to go home, not OK. And you know more than one of those moms will overindulge.
And if the moms are drinking, who is doing said crafts with the kids and supervising? You know they don't want to supervise their own kids because that's why the moms are there for a break. I'd have to go check it out just to people watch and then blog.
I hope Miss Tyler Jane feels better soon! Poor baby.
I think drinking alone should be celebrated. Me, home, dark room, Tori Amos, crying like a hungry baby is better then me, bar, driving into streetwalkers.
and feel better kitty.
I'm glad you wrote the last sentence, cuz, you know, I wasn't sure what you thought ;-)
my children (now in their 20's) remember that dad and i 'negotiated' who was driving home before a dinner out, and only the other parent drank... a bit extreme, maybe, but they remember it... now? my son was family DD until he turned 21... nice thing about bars and kids is the noise level. kid can scream and no one hears it... mommy-meet-ups? ouch...
Ok so I don't have any children of my own but I do work in a restaurant/bar and this enviroment is no place for children. This is why you have to be 21 to drink and in PA the law states that no one under the age of 18 can even be in a bar! Not to mention that it is just condoning the behavior. I don't think it's ok to take your child into a bar and proceed to drink and then drive home. I've met too many people who have memories of being in the bar with their parents at a young age and they're pretty messed up people. Before I go and turn this comment into a post of it's own I'd just like to point out that kids learn what they see. Enough said.
"Accidrunk"?
Genius.
Nope I'm with you. It creeps me out when I see people at restaurants drinking with their kids there. I live in the burbs...I know they will be strapping their kids into their car seats to drive them home after boozin' it up at Applebee's on a Friday night. Not cool.
PS. My cat only eats wet food now. 3 times a day. Best decision I ever made for her. Spoiled brat.
i prefer ME getting drunk with your boy in the safety of your own home.
Isn't being in a bar under the legal age illegal?
Oh, wait, you live in South Philly. Never mind.
Sorry Lora... I think the whole take your baby to a mommy drink-a-thon play date is crazy stupid.
Not that moms don't need lots of boozy goodness to get through the day sometimes - but the booze comes later... as a reward... once the angels are asleep dreaming of sugar plum fairies and what not. It's just the combination of the two events. However, I promise not to judge.
I WILL stand with you though.
Regarding this bit of genius:
"Too bad they don't have something like a Locks of Love for cat pelts."
It's not a pelt - it's extra skin. LOL. Think Biggest Loser. By the way... I have a 25 pounder too. All black. Pretty. He looks like a giant peppercorn. A Guinness Book of World Records peppercorn.
I love you.
Here's why I don't drink much, if at all around children and steer clear of events where adults are drinking when I am on child duty.
My brother-in-law's family are party people. Any gathering includes booze and sometimes a lot. The day after he and sis married, everyone met up at my folks for the brunch and watching gift opening. The wedding party was in various stages of recovering from the after-reception party which went on until 4 or 5AM. As the adults sat outside, BIL's nieces and nephews (who ranged from 5ish to 13ish) were in the kitchen - mixing drinks from different sodas.
The older kids were imitating what they'd witnessed on countless other occasions and serving up "drinks" to each other and the younger kids.
I observed and then went outside and found the oldest of BIL's brothers and informed him that their children were pretending to tend bar indoors and perhaps he should investigate. He went in and put a stop to it. Today half of those children are adults and at least one has a substance abuse problem of significant proportion.
Kids pay close attention and modeling is best down sober. jmo
First of all...loving the quote...I can't remember for the life of me where it is quoted from but I laugh everytime I hear it. Second, I am TOTALLY with you on this. I think this "playdate" sounds fun in theory but horrible in practice. Although you can walk home or Jake can drag you and such but still it kind of makes me worried. I am thinking it should be more of a "mommy" date for moms to get the heck out of dodge and leave their babies at home to do crafts with the babysitter. Just sayin...
Lora,
Again you cracked me up. Not about the crazy mommy/baby playdate in the bar, but about the cat.
You said:
"Did you know that dry food has a lot of carbs and cats shouldn't really be eating carbs?
I should put her on Atkins."
You do know she is a carnivore, right? I totally cracked up after reading that. Still laughing.
Ya'lls bars must be a heck of a lot cleaner than the ones I've been to around here. PS.-I never took any of my children to a bar, but sometime in the late 1980s my daughter called me to meet her in a bar. It was actually the first time I'd been to a bar alone. My husband was out of town. I'd just returned from Cuernavaca, Mexico and feeling pretty confidant. Sadly, I can no longer drink because of the methotrexate (that medicine is such a drag in that you can't do jack when your taking it. I take that back...I can have water, Coca Cola, tea) I don't think I'd take my kids to a bar while I socialized and then couldn't find my kid. How would you explain that tot he cops? It is your life and your son, and I think he is pretty darn cool.
Yeah, the whole bar-mommy-date-kiddie craft night is a little weird. I'm pretty much a control freak and don't want my kid out of my sight when we're in public, and I sure as hell don't want him out of my sight at a bar. There is nothing wrong with a night out at the bar with adults, but it's just not a place for kids. Also, as an adult and a parent I want some places that are just for me. And honestly, if I truly need a night with other adults (and right now I really do), I want to know my kid is safe at home so I can actually enjoy myself without worrying about where he is or what he's seeing or what he's hearing.
P.S. - Hope Tyler is okay!
Yes, I've taken my munchkins to bars before but we've always rock-paper-scissored for the sober driver.... Both hubs and I are neurotice about drinking and driving so we don't even play the whole "I'll only have 1 or 2 and then drive home." We are quite fond of having a beer or two, and usually do it at home as it doesn't require driving, or the ridiculous mark-up of a Coor*s Light...
That whole bar kiddo playdate/happy hour get up is quite weird though....
Goodness, Mommy Happy Hour? Do they provide a sitter while they get mom sloshed?? Geez, that is sad!
I feel like you're responsible enough of a person to do this and have nuffin' go wrong. Other motherz though, I feel might get carried away and lose their child in the jumbo bowl of complimentary peanuts.
I guess I'm old fashioned. In my neighborhood, we just all come outside with our box of wine and drink while our kids run around the streets. No fear of drinking and driving. BOOM. Problem solved.
It seems wrong to stigmatize a bar when if you replaced "bar" with "picnic" or "restaurant," both with equal access to booze, I wouldn't think twice.
I'd worry about jerkmom's and their little jerks playing mean and the volatility of combining alcohol with a mother's instinct to protect, and that white-hot moment when you ought to just smile and walk away. But that situation could arise anywhere, anytime.
On the up-side, maybe you make a friend and Jake makes a friend, you bond over discussing the MMR vaccine, he bonds over discussing the pros and cons of bathtime. Good stuff. Maybe lifelong stuff.
And if you see those moms getting into their cars, don't go back. And don't cross the street on those days.
Love the Sweet Home Alabama reference in your title and completely agree with you on all fronts. Not that I have children... but if I did, I would still enjoy a beer, but never at the even potential expense of my child.
The Mommies should take the $$ they save on half-priced drinks and just take a cab...
I gave you an award on my blog - head over and check it out!
-->When I ordered the fridge keg conversion kit for my husband 10 years ago, it came with a magnet that read:
"Stop DWI; Drink at Home."
Amen.
~deb
www.WebSavvyMom.com
Yeah, I have to say that you are completely and totally right on about this whole thing. Are you sick of me saying that yet? Because I do find it true of your posts so often.
What ever happened to common sense???
P.S. Even my first husband, idjit though he was, used to say, there's nothing common about common sense...
It's just another wheel in the Babies as Fashion Accents Extravaganza. It's all babies, all the time! Even when you're getting a buzz on! Don't you just *love* all babies?
Actually, in a pub ... no. I also don't care for them at poker games, cock fights and strip clubs.
I don't have a child and I don't drink so I can't really add much to the Mommy and Me in the Bar discussion (although it does seem a bit odd) but I do have cats and wanted to send hugs and purrs to your sweet Tyler Jane...sorry she's not feeling too well...a bit of pureed pumpkin seems to do wonders for making kitties regular...not the pie stuffing kind which has spices but just plain old pureed pumpkin :)
I'm not a huge fan of kids in bars but I will say that Iron Hill Brewery has a great children's menu. If you go early it's almost all families.
There's something to be said for children witnessing responsible drinking. Sadly, you can't count on everyone being responsible.
Let's hope that Mommy and Me group is all talk regarding those half price drinks.
You are always welcome to come play with us!
I know of two places--both more "gastropubby" that do this that I would love to go to. I almost never drink, but I love to go out and hang out and do it somewhere that my kids' behavior (or lack thereof) won't disturb people (or at the very least, won't be a huge shock). But I'm more in it for food that neither I nor Burger King cooked, and ambiance. I'm a little uncomfortable with drinking on the job, whichever job it is, prude and old person that I am. But I'm happy to be designated driver for others who feel differently.
All that to say: let me know if you want to have a familiar face there to meet if you decide to try it!
I'm not keen about kids in bars and I can't exactly say why. There's just something a bit dirty (and I don't mean unsterile) about it. It's not that I'm a puritan (far from it), I'm just not crazy about it. But hey, it's also none of my damn business what other people do with their kids. I'm going to stop talking now.
I practically grew up in bars--not clean, hipster bars, but grimy, motorcycle-gang-hang-out bars--and look how good I turned out. ;)
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