But that doesn't surprise me.
Two nights after his grandfather died, he said that he knows that Pop's body is back with the Earth (it's not, it's in a really nice little box over at the house- or will be shortly) and that his energy has gone into the universe and every time he misses his Pop all he needs to do is go outside to be part of nature and they will be together again.
That boy knows more than I ever will.
Jacob turned 5 on the 17th. We took him to Disney as a surprise. He woke up that morning and came downstairs and rather than finding presents and balloons at the breakfast table as in years past, he found two packed duffle bags. He took the no-present thing pretty well, after we told him that really soon we'd be getting on a plane headed to Florida.
More on that later.
Right now he is angry.
Not right right now.
But at moments.
He's aggressive with his toys.
He's crashing into my arms then kissing my hands and asking if I'm okay.
I'm okay.
When he asks me what I'm doing, I tell him that I'm remembering good stuff about his Pop, and ask him what his favorite times with him are. Or ask him what he'll miss most. Or ask him how his heart feels. And we tell funny stories until Jake gets up to go play.
Or draw.
Things like this:
That's a "Rust Bus. It used to be able to go places and help people get where they needed to go but now it can't anymore".
That's, well, that's that.
17 degrees {comments}:
Oh, baby mama.
My heart feels sad for you all. But know he is very lucky to have a mama like you who helps him navigate this new thing in his life.
He takes my breath away, that boy. You are lucky to have each other.
He's amazing. You're amazing. Incredible stuff this kid comes up with. Kids are so resilient. Wow. {Hugs} to you all.
My daughter's preschool art work following her dad's death (she was 3 1/2) is all dark colors and scribbles with dark menancing stick figures. She would blot out the paper completely when she painted. Dark and sullen.
Normal. Children can't put everything into words so they use drawing and painting and actions.
It gets better. Good that he is expressing himself.
What a wise little guy you have there!! Grieving is hard on the little hearts but they usually grieve better than we do. Sounds like he is doing a good job of it.
Hugs to you both
SueAnn
Wow.
Just, wow.
And xoxo.
Sometimes kid art hits deeper than the words they say. We've had a similar thing with the art and our 9yo.
Children are amazing aren't they? Especially yours. He is such a deep little heart.
What an extraordinarily perceptive little man.
art. I know this. I got 147 pictures of a happy family last summer from the oldest.
I really love the way Jake's mind works. I love the way he thinks through difficult times and I will take that with me whenever I miss my mother.
I think it's great you took him to Disney. I hope he enjoyed it. I also think it's great you let him express himself to the fullest. You are an outstanding mother and role model for him, never forget that.
When my boyfriend's good friend from high school took his own life it was the first time either of us in our relationship had to deal with death together and how it changed the mood between us. We weren't yet dating and it's hard to know what to say when you don't have "SET IN STONE" ties to someone... so I sat back and instead of consoling him with words I couldn't find to say what I felt, I asked him what his favorite memory was of his dear friend. He opened up and chatted on the phone for over an hour and later told me that I handled the situation and his emotions better than anyone by asking about good times and fond memories rather than focusing on what was lost. I think what you ask Jake is awesome - it's good to know that we can tell what makes us hurt or sad but that we may also heal in a time or sorrow through laughter. I finally started being able to talk about my mom and make jokes and laugh about things.. it took over 2 years but I'm finally there. I hope that you and Jake and your hubby will be able to do this together. One day at a time. oxox
Oof.
<3
Jake truly is an old soul. I like that. makes him a cool kinda guy....
I'm happy that you were able to take him to Disneyworld. That's awesome and I bet he LOVED it.
If only we adults could express ourselves so clearly. Hang in there. **Hugs**
Your talent is getting people to feel, that is, getting people to have feelings, not procuring people to grope.
That kid makes me hope I have a great kid like him one day. So sorry for your loss.
I absolutely dread this. I hope it doesn't come until my girls are in their 20s or later, but I'm doubtful.
Jake is something. Intuitive and trusting. I hope he can feel his Pop in the breeze, or the way the sky looks, or a familiar smell. That way he can hold onto him forever.
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