Funny how in politics "pro-family" doesn't necessarily mean "let's fight to keep all of our families- no matter what that family looks like- safe and healthy and educated and stable and clothed and fed and housed".
Budget cuts are frustrating. Abortion and homosexuality and employment status and marital status and education level and home address and all sorts of other nasties have taken the stage and have taken to defining what "family" actually means and our families are suffering for it.
Pro-family becomes more about being
anti-___.
or more about being
___-phobic.
My definition of family comes in all shapes and sizes and colors and preferences and places.
Two or more people brought together somehow, somewhy, somewhere.
We are related by blood, by union, by circumstance, by life.
We have the right to love who we love.
We have the right to be married or single.
Live together or live alone.
Live with or without cats.
We have the right to chose when and if we have children, how we become parents, with whom we have children, and where those children will live.
We decide how many children we will have.
Zero or six, it's up to us.
We all have a right to speak up and be heard no matter if we are one or one hundred years old.
Whether we haven't ever been to school for a day or we have a string of letters after our name.
My family can decide whether they are willing or able to stay home with the children or whether they go back to work as soon as possible after the children are born.
After our children come home.
Sometimes our children don't come home right after they are born.
Sometimes they aren't born to us, rather for us.
And we for them.
My family can apply for financial or housing assistance if they would like to stay home with the children but there isn't enough money coming in to make ends meet.
My family is strong enough to ask for help.
To admit we can't do this all by ourselves.
My family changes over time.
We shrink, we grow, we create, we disband, we adapt.
We come together when the timing is right for everyone.
We keep distance we keep touch.
We love. We hate.
We take sides. We build fortresses.
Over under around and through.
No matter what life brings, we have at it together.
That is what pro-family means to me.
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15 degrees {comments}:
Ya can't legislate a family and a bureaucracy can't raise one.
Nicely put. I agree on all except one part... EVERYONE should live with cats. There is no "without."
Excellent ~ Agreed.
"We have the right to love who we love.
We have the right to be married or single."
~~~Lora
Plenty of wishful thinking in this post.
I have a combination ten sisters and daughters, but certainly no RIGHT to marry any of them.
Your dictionary link would pop up "incest".
I knew a fellow who wanted to marry his cousin and could not. It fouls up the genetic pool.
The right to fall in love who we love????
You jest.
They were high school sweet hearts.
He went to war; she went to college.
Dated me saying she had no boyfriend.
He came home from war, found she was dating and went away devastated at his "Cheater".
He married a girl promptly, had two kids, and eventually they divorced. He got custody.
His wife was majorly on drugs.
Why?
A woman simply knows when a man she has married does not love her, and yearns for a long ago woman.
Drugs sooth that, and cost you your kids in custody.
But a single dad is tough work.
So he pursued my wife....you know....YOUR posit that we can choose who to love.
Soon, I became the single dad, but fortunately, I also got custody of my beautiful daughters.
In my parents's generation, it is a sin to live together and just not done. So when a widow meets up with a widower, THAT generation marries.
But if both are receiving Social Security, living separately, they will lose one of the two checks as soon as they marry.
They can not live on one miserable check.
Nor can they live together spiritually and emotionally, unless they marry. It is in that generation's culture.
All these "rights" you propose, simply do not all exist.
In the case of incest laws, there is a valid reason to prevent you from choosing to fall in love with a relative.
And, we do not have the "right" at the ending of our life, to choose a new family and have two Social Security checks come in.
However, you can divorce, and claim your former husband's Social Security, with your new boyfriend.
(You must be married ten years or more).
The boyfriend above, fell in love with my wife anew, after 12 years of marriage. As long as they shacked up, she got my Social Security one day.
As soon as they married (took five years), she no longer qualifies for my SS check later on. It is his or hers.....provided they stay married ten years.
My daughters are doing well in our family.
Me too. :)
Yes we do have the right to be heard and to have and hold our own family.
I love my family...we have each others' backs!!
Hugs
SueAnn
I'm with you on this one Lora.... I get what you're saying!
Don't ask what I'm doing at work this afternoon, but after reading your post I stumbled across this and thought I would share with you http://youtu.be/-fmg_OYn6IA
Love it, love it!! After being in the classroom for the past 6 years I totally agree that families come in a variety of shapes and sizes. I'm linking up to this post on my Sunday Stars. Blog on girlfriend!!
Fabulous post. Thank you.
I believe that a family is what we make of it. Right now, mine is mainly a Twilight pillow and a Superman action figure, but it's MY family, dammit.
Wow! Well said Lora!
You nailed it in the 2nd paragraph!
Great post...
Janet
Great post - family is a complex topic that is entwined in every aspect of life. I don't think even the politicians are truly honest about the way they'd like to run things sometimes. I couldn't agree more on your thoughts. And they are well said. I'm a new follower..
Family is what you make it. That's all I think.
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