happy new (fiscal) year!!

Sometimes I work in places that have co-ed bathrooms.

Very Euro.  Boys and girls!  Men and women!  Not at all separate but totally equal!

Most of these places have a "ahem, anyone in here?" sort of manner about them, but not all.  Which is fine. I have the same issues going in front of men as I do women.  (Issue Numero Uno = what if I fart and someone recognizes my shoes or what if I fart and the person in the stall next to me comes out at the same time I do and sees me and tells everyone that I farted? Fart fart fart fart fart fart fart). 

I think that men are generally less nasty with the bathroom habits than women.  If you've never been in a women's room you have no idea how disgusting they are.  Sometimes it looks like a crime scene.  A stabby, stabby crime scene in some of those stalls.  Like slaughterhouses where bowels get torn open with a dull knife and no one has been through with the bleach hose type of nasty.  Co-ed bathrooms can cut down the filth by half.  At least.

There's just one thing that really icks me out about men and women sharing stalls.  And it's the same thing that icks me out about all men's room with stalls.  One thing that makes me wish that there was a law that all men's and co-ed bathrooms have a row of urinals rather than stalls.  That thing is this: when women go to the bathroom, there is no (or should be no) hand-to-genital contact without a protective barrier of toilet paper.  When men go to the bathroom, there is much hand-to-genital contact with little to no protective barrier. 

And if you are waiting on a stall that a man is using, there is only a few seconds of turnover between the time his hand is on his penis and the time your hand is on the lock. 

His hand is all:
Penis
Zipper
Lock

Then he walks out and nods to you and you nod to him and your hand is all:
Lock
Zipper
Toilet paper dispenser.

So tiny microscopic pieces of his penis stay on your zipper all day long.  And on the toilet paper dispenser.  And if you don't wash under your fingernails and rings and watch you have penis under there for an indefinite amount of time.

And then you have to go sit in a meeting with these people and wonder who's penis is all over who's hands and pants and you can't concentrate on the agenda and you miss really important points and then you risk losing your job because you can't get those TPS reports out ASAP.